When our son Josh was just a tyke, one day he announced to us with great conviction: “Oh, I can’t stand change!” My wife and I both laughed and told him he was going to have to get over that.

Turns out, sometimes that’s easier said than done.

Over the last nearly two decades our family has gone through major changes. These changes began with the birth of our first grandchild in 2008. (Grandkids are more fun; I recommend having them first.) Our first grandson’s birth was followed less than three months later by my mother’s death. My mother-in-law died in 2014. In 2016 my father-in-law remarried, and later that year our second grandson was born. Then came the whole COVID shutdown in 2020. In 2021, my father-in-law passed. There are some other things: a heart attack, a couple of hip surgeries, and so on. But the ones I mentioned are the most powerfully personal ones.

These events flooded our hearts with powerful emotions: happiness; sadness; sorrow and joy, often one right after the other; and sometimes, a dose of fear thrown in for good measure.

And after each event happened, we came to realize that our lives were never going to be the same, either in wonderful ways, in profoundly sad ways, or in new ways we’d never anticipated.

It’s an odd sensation in life to feel as if the ground is shifting under your feet, and that you’re unsure of your balance or your next step. When everything has been more-or-less settled for a while, then you find things suddenly going topsy-turvy, it leaves you feeling…well, a little unsettled. Sometimes very unsettled.

I never was a big David Bowie fan, but he always fascinated me. In January of 1972, Bowie released his first single in the United States. It was called Changes, and in the chorus, he sang, “Time may change me, but I can’t trace time.”

Twenty-one years later, on January 8th, 2013, Bowie, who was long thought to be retired, unexpectedly released a new single and an accompanying short film, titled Where Are We Now? It happened to be his 66th birthday. This film, like so much of Bowie’s work, was off-beat and a little disturbing, and the song’s lyrics are so sad. Bowie seemed to be looking back on his life, “an older person reminiscing about time spent and time wasted,” as one reviewer put it.

Then almost three years later, on January 7th, 2016, Bowie released the song Lazarus with its accompanying video. It was even more bleak and despairing than Where Are We Now? According to Tony Visconti, Bowie’s producer, the lyrics were “intended to be a self-epitaph, a commentary on Bowie own impending death.” Bowie died three days after the video’s release.

What strikes me about both of those songs and videos is the deep sadness and sense of despair that Bowie communicated. He wrote and performed eloquently and powerfully, but seemingly devoid of hope.

I see this same thing whenever I have to do the funeral of an unbeliever. There are so many wonderful truths that you can remind a family of when a Christian die…things you just can’t honestly say when an unbeliever dies. You can preach the Gospel to those who are still living and try to help them with what the Bible says about grief. But you stand there helplessly as they grieve, because there is this yawning pit of despair that you can’t begin to cover up. Edith Schaeffer said, “Apart from God, despair makes sense.” She was right.

But we are not unbelievers; we are children of God by faith in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:26). And we need not despair. We do not grieve as others do (1 Thessalonians 4:13), even when we grieve the changes and losses that life inevitably throws our way. We have Jesus, and He has us (John1:12), and that makes all the difference. Just because we’re Christians doesn’t mean it will be easy, but it does mean we won’t face those things alone. As someone put it, Jesus is Lord of our rocking boat.

So what do we do when we find ourselves in the midst of the winds and waves of life’s changes? How should a believer in Christ respond to these things?

First, don’t panic. There isn’t anything unusual or unexpected about what you’re going through. Peter said, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” (1 Peter 4:12) You haven’t fallen off God’s radar, and God isn’t mad at you. When you are broken, deep inside, and you live on a broken planet along with eight billion-plus other broken people, then you can expect that sometimes life is going to be difficult and uncertain.

Second, wait. The Lord told Isaiah, “…but they that wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31) In the Bible, wait is often synonymous with hope. You express your hope in God (i.e., your confident expectation in Him) by simply waiting on Him. He will act in His good time, for His glory and your good. (Romans 8:28)

Third, pray. Pray about your situation. Specifically. And may I add, out loud. Yes, I know that God knows your heart, and that He already knows your situation. Sometimes, when my grandsons were little, and one of them was upset or sad, I already knew the reason why. But I still wanted to hear him tell me about it. Why? Because I loved him. And I loved it when he talked to me. And Christian, God loves you. Want proof? He gave His Son to die for you. (John 3:16) So cry out to Him. Tell Him all about it.

And finally, find something to give thanks to God about. You may not be able to thank Him for your situation (sometimes our hearts are breaking too much, or we’re too mad), but you can still find something to be thankful for in your situation. “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1Thessalonians 5:18)

I recently heard a young woman speak who’d had a terrible childhood. Her father had abandoned their family when she was quite small, and she was raised by a single working mother. But one day her mother instructed her to write down ten things she was thankful for, every single day. And she said it was impossible to put into words just how much of a difference that made in her life and outlook.

It is the act of calling upon God, acknowledging Him and giving thanks to Him, that sets us apart from pagans (Romans 1:21). And we do this, not because we’re better than they are, but because God has made us His children, and we can’t help but cry out to Him, “Abba! Father!” (Romans 8:15) Just remember to give Him thanks when you do.

If you do these four things, your situation will immediately get better and everyone will like you a lot.

No, it won’t. And they won’t. At least, not immediately. And maybe not this side of Heaven. But it’ll be all right. Jesus said so. He wanted me to remind you. (And to remind myself, too.)

Soli Deo Gloria!

Pastor David